TIPS On HOW TO BECOME A GOOD MUSLIMAH

"The world and all things in it are valuable; but the most valuable thing in the world is a virtuous woman." -Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him.)"

In the Muslim religion, women are advised to follow rules that at times may appear to clash with western standards of fairness and equality. However, if one looks into the rules and thinks with an uncritical eye, one will come to notice that everything Muslim women are told to do, ultimately benefits women.

1.     Discover whence the influences causing you to turn your back on your religion come. Maybe you can trace back the cause to either family situations or friends that are leading you in the wrong path. Leave the friends. They will not be there on judgment day when you have to face Allah on your own. -          
        Hang out with good friends; going with the theme you may want to make friends who share your mission of being a good Muslim.
       Avoid negative influences, including old friends (as hard as it may be, the reward is well worth it) who may have had a bad influence or who bring out the negative characteristics in you. We all have the Shaitan (devil) in us, but it is our responsibility as Muslims to fight these temptations and urges by increasing our faith and spirituality.

2.     If you are truly devoted to turning over a new leaf and becoming the best Muslim girl that you can be, you must wear the hijab. The hijab is not just a piece of cloth that covers hair, it changes you mentally and spiritually. Think of it as a way for Allah to protect the women. As soon as you wear the hijab, hopefully, your whole perspective on self-respect and values will automatically change. Non-hijabis are defying Allah's laws and risking His punishment, so you have a better chance of achieving this feeling by wearing the hijab. Consider the additional benefits of the face veil (niqaab).

3.     Pray five times a day. Before you get on the prayer rug, learn what the prayer words mean to enhance your contemplation within prayer. If you do not speak Arabic, try to find some translated versions of the prayer and take some time to read and understand what the words mean. Start making prayer a normal part of your day, the way eating is needed to us, our spiritual food is prayers.

4.     Read the Quran. Again, you can read it in English if you are not fluent in Arabic. Reading the Quran will help establish a useful relationship with Allah and will also allow you to understand how beautiful the religion is. Listening to it (you can find videos online) also makes you feel closer to Allah.

5.     Learn more about Islam. Know what you have to do (which is called 'wajib' things) and what you can't do (haram things). The Internet is a valuable source to search for Islamic rules and regulations and the punishments that apply if they are broken. The punishments may sometimes seem severe, but they are there to protect society and guide the believers to follow the way of Allah swt.

6.     Try to allocate a minimum amount of time each day to Islamic activities - for example four hours split between salah, Quran and Islamic studies will enable you to build up your relationship with Allah swt and make good progress with acquiring knowledge. Remember that the 5 fard salah are your top priority and you should form the framework of your daily routine around these.

7.     Dress modestly. This does not mean that you have to look ugly or not stylish. Just be modest. Wear longer shirts and avoid tank tops and shorts. Stay away from clothes that are too tight. Remember that it is obligatory to cover the whole body except the face and hands, which are recommended but not obligatory. This also helps you to change your whole outlook on what is acceptable and what is not.

8.      Forgive yourself for any sins you may have committed. You need to let go of past mistakes and work on improving the future. Whatever has happened is done. It is in the past and there is nothing you can do to change it or better it. The only thing you can do is forgive yourself or use those negative experiences as motivation to get better and do good.

         Understand that all shall be well. Allah forgives minor sins for He is All-Understanding and All-Forgiving. Even if you feel that you are already too deep to become the good Muslim that you truly are.

        Keep in mind that to receive forgiveness from God there are four requirements:

a.     Recognizing the offense itself and its admission before God.
b.     Making a commitment not to repeat the offense.
c.     Asking for forgiveness from God.
d.     Strive to achieve all four.

9.     Make it a priority in your mind that you want to strive to be the best Muslim girl possible, you will achieve this goal without even realizing it! Every time you are about to do something, think: "Is this something good or religious?" If it isn't, don't do it! Simply remind yourself and be ready to stop yourself, just in case. Every single moment of every day must be devoted to providing pleasure for Allah swt.

10.    Every time you feel weak and do not have someone to talk to, remember that Allah is always there for you and HE is all you need to accomplish this mission.

        Things You'll Need :
-       Lots and lots of dua
-       Trust in Allah
-       Honesty
-       Desire for Islamic knowledge
-       The seera of the prophet
-       Fearing day of judgement
-       Stories of the 12 Imams, the sahaba(companions)and the prophets

KEISTIMEWAAN WANITA

13 Peringatan Untuk Muslimah

1. Bulu kening
Menurut Bukhari, Rasullulah melaknati perempuan yang mencukur atau menipiskan bulu kening atau meminta supaya dicukurkan bulu kening
Petikan dari Hadis Riwayat Abu Daud Fi Fathil Bari.

2. Kaki memakai gelang berloceng
Dan janganlah mereka ( perempuan ) menghentakkan kaki ( atau mengangkatnya ) agar diketahui perhiasan yang mereka sembunyikan – Petikan dari Surah An-Nur Ayat 31.
Keterangan : Menampakkan kaki dan menghayunkan / melenggokkan badan mengikut hentakan kaki terutamanya pada mereka yang mengikatnya dengan loceng sama juga seperti pelacur dizaman jahiliyah.

3. Wangian
Siapa sahaja wanita yang memakai wangi-wangian kemudian melewati suatu kaum supaya mereka itu mencium baunya, maka wanita itu telah dianggap melakukan zina dan tiap-tiap mata ada zinanya terutamanya hidung yang berserombong kapal kata orang sekarang hidong belang – Petikan dari Hadis Riwayat Nasaii, Ibn Khuzaimah dan Hibban.

4. Dada
Hendaklah mereka ( perempuan ) melabuhkan kain tudung hingga menutupi bahagian hadapan dada-dada mereka – Petikan dari Surah An-Nur Ayat 31.

5. Gigi
Rasullulah melaknat perempuan yang mengikir gigi atau meminta supaya dikikirkan giginya – Petikan dari Hadis Riwayat At-Thabrani, Dilaknat perempuan yang menjarangkan giginya supaya menjadi cantik, yang merubah ciptaan Allah – Petikan dari Hadis Riwayat Bukhari dan Muslim.

6. Muka dan leher
Dan tinggallah kamu ( perempuan ) di rumah kamu dan janganlah kamu menampakkan perhiasan mu seperti orang jahilliah yang dahulu.
Keterangan : Bersolek (make-up) dan menurut Maqatil sengaja membiarkan ikatan tudung yang menampakkan leher seperti orang Jahilliyah.

7. Muka dan Tangan
Asma Binti Abu Bakar telah menemui Rasullulah dengan memakai pakaian yang tipis. Sabda Rasullulah: Wahai Asma! Sesungguhnya seorang gadis yang telah berhaid tidak boleh baginya menzahirkan anggota badan kecuali pergelangan tangan dan wajah saja – Petikan dari Hadis Riwayat Muslim dan Bukhari.

8. Tangan
Sesungguhnya kepala yang ditusuk dengan besi itu lebih baik daripada menyentuh kaum yang bukan sejenis yang tidak halal baginya – Petikan dari Hadis Riwayat At Tabrani dan Baihaqi.

9. Mata
Dan katakanlah kepada perempuan mukmin hendaklah mereka menundukkan sebahagian dari pemandangannya – Petikan dari Surah An Nur Ayat 31.

Sabda Nabi Muhamad SAW, Jangan sampai pandangan yang satu mengikuti pandangan lainnya. Kamu hanya boleh pandangan yang pertama sahaja manakala pandangan seterusnya tidak dibenarkan hukumnya haram – Petikan dari Hadis Riwayat Ahmad, Abu Daud dan Tirmidzi.

10. Mulut ( suara )
Janganlah perempuan-perempuan itu terlalu lunak dalam berbicara sehingga berkeinginan orang yang ada perasaan serong dalam hatinya, tetapi ucapkanlah perkataan-perkataan yang baik – Petikan dari Surah Al Ahzab Ayat 32.

Sabda SAW, Sesungguhnya akan ada umat ku yang minum arak yang mereka namakan dengan yang lain, iaitu kepala mereka dilalaikan oleh bunyi-bunyian ( muzik ) dan penyanyi perempuan, maka Allah akan tenggelamkan mereka itu dalam bumi – Petikan dari Hadis Riwayat Ibn Majah.

11. Kemaluan
Dan katakanlah kepada perempuan-perempuan mukmin, hendaklah mereka menundukkan pandangan mereka dan menjaga kehormatan mereka – Petikan dari Surah An Nur Ayat 31.

Apabila seorang perempuan itu solat lima waktu, puasa di bulan Ramadan, menjaga kehormatannya dan mentaati suaminya, maka masuklah ia ke dalam Syurga daripada pintu-pintu yang ia kehendakinya – Hadis Riwayat Riwayat Al Bazzar.

Tiada seorang perempuan pun yang membuka pakaiannya bukan di rumah suaminya, melainkan dia telah membinasakan tabir antaranya dengan Allah – Petikan dari Hadis Riwayat Tirmidzi, Abu Daud dan Ibn Majah.

12. Pakaian
Barangsiapa memakai pakaian yang berlebih-lebihan terutama yang menjolok mata , maka Allah akan memberikan pakaian kehinaan di hari akhirat nanti – Petikan dari Hadis Riwayat Ahmad, Abu Daud , An Nasaii dan Ibn Majah.

Petikan dari Surah Al Ahzab Ayat 59. Bermaksud :
Hai Nabi-Nabi katakanlah kepada isteri-isterimu, anak perempuanmu dan isteri-isteri orang mukmin, hendaklah mereka memakai baju jilbab ( baju labuh dan longgar ) yang demikian itu supaya mereka mudah dikenali . Lantaran itu mereka tidak diganggu . Allah Maha Pengampun Lagi Maha Penyayang.

Sesungguhnya sebilangan ahli Neraka ialah perempuan-perempuan yang berpakaian tetapi telanjang yang condong pada maksiat dan menarik orang lain untuk melakukan maksiat. Mereka tidak akan masuk Syurga dan tidak akan mencium baunya. Petikan dari Hadis Riwayat Bukhari dan Muslim.
Keterangan : Wanita yang berpakaian tipis / jarang , ketat / membentuk dan berbelah / membuka bahagian-bahagian tertentu.

13. Rambut
Wahai anakku Fatimah! Adapun perempuan-perempuan yang akan digantung rambutnya hingga mendidih otaknya dalam Neraka adalah mereka itu di dunia tidak mahu menutup rambutnya daripada dilihat oleh lelaki yang bukan mahramnya – Petikan dari Hadis Riwayat Bukhari dan Muslim.

Solat selepas haid

Rujukan :  kitab Ihya' Ulumuddin karangan Hujjatul Islam Imam Al-Ghazali yang mashur.

Dalam BAB TIGA :

" Fi adab Mua'sharah Wama Yujzi Fi Dawamun Nikah..."
perkara Ke-7 disebut Perkara Yang Berkaitan Dengan Haid :
Penjelasan (bayan) terhadap solat yang perlu diqadha bagi perempuan yang didatangi haid :

1. Jika perempuan dalam keadaan haid mendapati darah haid itu berhenti (dengan melihatnya) sebelum masuknya waktu Maghrib, kira-kira sempat dia solat asar sebanyak satu rakaat, maka baginya wajib qadha solat zohor dan asar.

2. Jika perempuan mendapati darah haidnya kering sebelum masuknya waktu subuh, kira-kira sempat baginya solat Isya' sebanyak satu rakaat, maka wajib baginya qadha solat maghrib dan Isya'. " Dan hal ini (qadha solat yang ditinggalkan semasa haid) adalah sekurang-kurang perkara yang wajib diketahui oleh setiap wanita Islam" (Imam Al-Ghazali)

Huraian :
1. Perlu diqadha solat Asar dan Zohor
- Kerana perempuan itu hanya menyedari keringnya haid masih dalam waktu Asar, maka baginya wajib solat asar (selepas mandi hadas)

2. Solat Zohor juga perlu diqadha sama
- Kerana di dalam hukum menjama' (menghimpun solat bagi orang musafir) solat Asar boleh dijama' dan diqosarkan bersama solat Zohor.

- Kerana kecuaian wanita itu sendiri (dari melihat haidnya kering atau tidak), boleh jadi haidnya sudah kering dalam waktu Zohor lagi, langkah Ihtiyat ( menjaga hukum) maka perempuan itu juga perlu mengqhada solat Zohor.

3. Dalam perkara solat subuh pun sama : -perempuan itu hanya menyedari darah haidnya kering, sebelum masuk waktu subuh, kira-kira sempat solat Isyak satu rakaat (selepas mandi hadas) maka wajib baginya solat Isya' sebab darahnya kering masih dalam waktu Isya'.

-Solat Isya' juga boleh dijama' (bagi musafir) dengan solat Maghrib, maka baginya juga perlu diqadha solat maghrib.

-Di atas kecuainnya (tidak betul-betul melihat darahnya kering atau tidak dalam setiap waktu solat) maka boleh jadi darahnya sudah kering dalam waktu maghrib lagi (sebab proses keringnya darah itu berlaku secara perlahan-lahan, mungkin perempuan itu hanya menyedarinya dalam waktu subuh, hakikatnya proses pengeringan itu sudah lama berlaku)

-Maka langkah ihtiyat (menjaga hukum) maka adalah bagi perempuan itu perlu di qadha juga solat maghribnya.

Sila rujuk : Kitab Ihya' Ulumuddin (Jilid ke 2) cetakan Darul Nahwan Nil / Darul Haram Lil Turath, Kaherah

Mencukur bulu kening

Mencukur bulu kaki dan bulu roma bagi kaum wanita dilarang sebagai mana di dalam hadith berikut :

Ertinya : Saidina Abdullah Bin Mas’ud ( r.a ) meriwayatkan sebuah hadith : “ Allah telah melaknat tukang-tukang tatoo dan perempuan-perempuan yang minta ditatoo , tukang-tukang cukur kening dan wanita-wanita yang minta dicukur kening dan dilaknat juga wanita-wanita yang minta dijarang-jarangkan gigi-gigi mereka agar kelihatan cantik serta dilaknat juga wanita-wanita yang cuba mengubah ciptaan Allah “ Diriwayatkan oleh Al-Imam Al-Bukhari rh , Al-Imam Muslim rh , Al-Imam Abu Daud rh dan Al-Imam at- Tobrani rh .

“ Tukang-tukang cukur kening dan wanita-wanita yang diminta dicukur kening-kening mereka “ di dalam hadith tersebut merangkumi juga wanita-wanita yang mencukur bulu-bulu kaki dan bulu-bulu roma mereka .

Kaum wanita yang benar-benar mahu menjadi orang-orang yang beriman kepada Allah Ta’ala dan Rasul-Nya s.a.w mestilah berusaha menjauhi segala gejala tarikan yang dilakukan oleh kaum Barat yang cuba menyesatkan umat Islam . Tidak sedikit daripada kaum wanita Islam yang terpedaya dengan kaum Barat hasil iklan-iklan yang ditayangkan di media massa .

Oleh itu , wajib bagi kaum lelaki dan wanita beriman mengetahui apakah perkara yang dibenarkan dan apa pula yang dilarang daripada melakukannya .

Wanita-wanita beriman dilarang mencukur bulu-bulu kaki dan bulu-bulu roma kerana ianya adalah merupakan salah satu cubaan mengubah ciptaan Allah Ta’ala dan kerana ianya juga dilarang di dalam hadith di atas.

Namun, bagi kaum wanita yang mempunyai hormon yang kuat sehingga menyebabkan banyak bulu yang tumbuh di sekitar bahagian muka, tangan dan kaki dan menyebabkan seseorang wanita itu malu dan rendah diri kerana ianya merupakan perkara yang tidak normal, maka di saat itu TIDAK MENGAPA jika dilakukan proses menghilangkan dan mencukur bulu-bulu tersebut . Dan ini tidak dianggap mengubah ciptaan Allah Ta’ala bahkan ialah termasuk di dalam bab berubat dan mendapatkan rawatan .

HARUS dicukur jika bulu kaki wanita itu lebat dan banyak sehingga menyerupai kaum lelaki . HARUS dicukur bulu romanya jika ianya tumbuh secara tidak normal dan memalukan wanita itu dan HARUS pula digunting sedikit kening dan dibetulkan jika kening yang tumbuh itu panjang dan menyebabkan wanita itu merasa rendah dir

Hukum Wanita Menghiaskan Tangan Dengan Inai

Sekarang ini ramai pengantin menghiaskan tangan dengan ukiran daripada inai.

Dari Ibnu Umar r.a katanya: "Bahawasanya Rasulullah s.a.w mengutuk orang yang menyambung rambut dan meminta rambutnya disambungkan. Dan Baginda mengutuk pembuat tatu dan yang meminta ditatu." [hadith bil. 2003 : Sahih Muslim]

Dari Abu Hurairah r.a, Nabi s.a.w bersabda: "Allah mengutuk wanita yang mempergunakan (memberikan) rambutnya untuk (menyambung) rambut wanita lain, wanita yang menyambung rambutnya dengan wanita lain, wanita yang membuat gambar di kulitnya (tubuh) dengan tusukan dan wanita yang meminta kulitnya dibuat gambar dengan tusukan (alat pengukir)" [hadis bil. 1685 : Sahih Bukhari]

Jelas Dato' Abu Hasan Din Al-Hafiz: "Inai berukir ala tatu tak boleh! Ia dilaknat Allah. Inai berukir bentuk awan larat atau bentuk gambar itu adalah kategori tatu, kalau nak pakai inai, pakailah betul-betul di hujung jari."

Jangan sampai kita menolak syariat dan agama Islam yang telah ditetapkan semata-mata untuk mengikut adat.

Wanita Umpama Pohon Semalu

Pada suatu hari, Rasulullah saw berjalan-jalan bersama puteri baginda, Saidatina Fatimah r.a. Setibanya mereka berdua di bawah sebatang pohon tamar, Fatimah terpijak pohon semalu, kakinya berdarah lalu mengadu kesakitan.

Fatimah mengatakan kepada bapanya apalah gunanya pohon semalu itu berada di situ dengan nada yang sedikit marah. Rasulullah dengan tenang berkata kepada puteri kesayangannya itu bahawasanya pohon semalu itu amat berkait rapat dengan wanita. Fatimah terkejut.

Rasulullah menyambung kata-katanya lagi.

Para wanita hendaklah mengambil pengajaran daripada pohon semalu ini dari 4 aspek :-

Pertama : Pohon semalu akan kuncup apabila disentuh. Ini boleh diibaratkan bahawa wanita perlu mempunyai perasaan malu (pada tempatnya).

Kedua : Semalu mempunyai duri yang tajam untuk mempertahankan dirinya. Oleh itu, wanita perlu tahu mempertahankan diri dan maruah sebagai seorang wanita muslim.

Ketiga : Semalu juga mempunyai akar tunjang yang sangat kuat dan mencengkam bumi. Ini bermakna wanita solehah hendaklah mempunyai ikatan yang sangat kuat dengan Allah Rabbul Alamin.

Keempat : Semalu akan kuncup dengan sendirinya apabila senja menjelang. Oleh itu, para wanita sekalian, kembalilah ke rumahmu apabila waktu semakin senja. Ambillah pengajaran dari semalu walau pun ia hanya sepohon tumbuhan yang kecil.

Malu itu separuh daripada iman..

Peringatan Untuk Wanita

1. Yang mula-mula ditanyakan pada hari akhirat ialah mengenai solat dan bagi wanita bersuami akan ditanya juga samada dia telah menjalankan kewajipan terhadap suaminya.

2. Solat wanita yang keluar dari rumah suaminya tidak akan diterima oleh Allah s.w.t sehingga dia kembali dan meminta maaf dan diampunkan oleh suaminya.

3. Wanita yang keluar rumah dengan memakai bau-bauan dan melintasi kaum lelaki ajnabi agar mereka tercium bau harumnya maka perbuatannya yang disengajakan itu adalah sama taraf dengan zina.

4. Sebaik-baik wanita ialah yang tetap tinggal di rumah dan hanya keluar atas keperluan yang mustahak. Wanita yang keluar rumah akan dipesonakan oleh iblis.

Sabda Nabi s.a.w. :
"Perempuan itu aurat, maka apabila ia keluar mendongak syaitan memandang akan dia."

5. Haram bagi wanita melihat lelaki sebagaimana lelaki haram melihat wanita yang halal nikah (kecuali dalam urusan menuntut ilmu dan berjual beli).

6. Diriwayatkan bahawa pada suatu hari ketika Rasulullah s.a.w. bersama isteri-isterinya (Ummu Salamah r.ha. dan Maimunah r.ha.), datang seorang sahabat yang buta matanya (Ibnu Maktum) Rasulullah s.a.w. menyuruh isteri-isterinya masuk ke dalam. Bertanya Ummu Salamah, “Bukankah orang itu tidak dapat melihat kami, Ya Rasulullah ?” Rasulullah s.a.w. menjawab,”Bukankah kamu dapat melihatnya.”

7. Perempuan yang melabuhkan pakaian dalam keadaan berhias (bukan untuk suami dan mahramnya) adalah seumpama gelap-gelita pada hari Qiamat tiada Nur baginya.

8. Mana-mana wanita yang bermasam muka menyebabkan tersinggung suaminy, maka wanita itu dimurkai Allah sehingga ia bermanis muka dan tersenyum mesra pada suaminya.

9. Tidak boleh seorang isteri mengerjakan puasa sunat kalau suaminya ada di rumah serta tidak seizinnya dan tidak boleh memasukkan seseorang lelaki ke rumahnya dengan tidak seizin suaminya.

10. Hendaklah isteri berpuas hati (redha) dengan suaminya yang telah dijodohkan oleh Allah, sama ada miskin atau kaya.

11. Perempuan tidak berhak keluar dari rumahnya melainkan jika terpaksa (kerana sesuatu urusan yang mustahak) dan ia juga tidak berhak melalui jalan lalu lalang melainkan di tepi-tepinya.

12. Apabila memanggil lelaki akan isterinya ke tempat tidur tetapi ditolaknya hingga marahlah suaminya, akan tidurlah wanita itu dalam laknat oleh malaikat ke pagi.

13. Wanita-wanita yang menggunakan lidahnya untuk menyakiti hati suaminya,ia akan mendapat laknat dan kemurkaan Allah, laknat malaikat juga laknat manusia sekalian.

14. Tidak harus seseorang manusia sujud kepada manusia dan jika diharuskan, maka akan aku perintahkan semua kaum wanita sujud pada suaminya kerana membesarkan dan memuliakan hak-hak suami mereka.

15. Wanita yang menyakiti hati suaminya dengan lidahnya pada hari Qiamat nanti Allah jadikan lidahnya sepanjang 70 hasta kemudian diikat ke belakang lehernya.

16. “Aku lihat api neraka, tidak pernah aku lihat seperti hari ini, kerana ada pemandangan yang dahsyat di dalamnya. Telah aku saksikan kebanyakan ahli neraka ialah wanita.” Rasulullah s.a.w. ditanyai, “Mengapa demikian Ya Rasulullah?” Jawab Rasulullah s.a.w. “Wanita mengkufurkan suaminya dan mengkufurkan ehsannya. Jika engkau berbuat baik kepadanya seberapa banyak pun dia masih belum rasa berpuas hati dan cukup.”

“Kebanyakan ahli neraka adalah terdiri dari kaum wanita.” Maka menangislah mereka dan bertanya salah seorang daripada mereka, “Mengapa terjadi demikian, adakah kerana mereka berzina atau membunuh anak atau kafir ?” Jawab Nabi s.a.w. “Tidak, mereka ini ialah mereka yang tidak bersyukur akan nikmat suaminya, sesungguhnya tiap-tiap seorang kamu adalah dalam nikmat suaminya.”

18. Keadaan wanita 10 kali ganda seorang lelaki di dalam neraka dan 2 kali ganda seorang lelaki di dalam syurga.

19. “Kebanyakan wanita itu adalah isi neraka dan kayu api.” Hazrat Aishah bertanya, “Mengapa wahai Rasulullah s.a.w.?” Jawab Rasulullah s.a.w. :

i.   Kerana kebanyakan perempuan itu tidak sabar dalam menghadapi kesusahan, kesakitan dan cubaan seperti kesakitan melahirkan anak, mendidik anak-anak dan melayani suami serta melakukan kerja-kerja rumah.

ii.  Tiada memuji (bersyukur) di atas kemurahan Allah yang didatangkan melalui suaminya.

iii. Sering mengkufurkan (ingkar) terhadap nikmat Allah. (Contohnya :Apabila berlaku sesuatu pertengkaran ada isteri yang berkata sudah 10 tahun kahwin dengan awak tidak ada apa-apa pun.)

iv. Gemar bercakap perkara yang sia-sia yang berdosa. (Contohnya :bercakap mengenai perabot-perabot rumah yang tidak perlu dan mengumpat.)

v. Kurang akal dan kurang ilmu pengetahuannya dalam agama iaitu mereka sering tertipu atau terpengaruh dengan pujuk rayu lelaki,rakan-rakan, alam sekeliling dan suasana serta kemewahan lahiriah.

20. Dari Ali bin Abi Talib r.a. : Aku dengar Rasulullah s.a.w. bersabda, “Tiga golongan dari umatku akan mengisi neraka jahanam selama 7 kali umur dunia. Mereka itu adalah :-

a. Orang yang gemuk tapi kurus
b. Orang yang berpakaian tetapi telanjang
c. Orang yang alim tapi jahil

* Adapun yang gemuk tapi kurus itu ialah wanita yang sihat tubuh badannya tetapi kurang ibadat.
* Orang yang berpakaian tetapi telanjang ialah wanita yang cukup pakaiannya tetapi tidak taat agama.
* Orang yang alim tapi jahil ialah ulama yang menghalalkan yang haram kerana kepentingan peribadi.

21. Asma’ binti Karizah Fazari r.ha. diriwayatkan telah berkata kepada puterinya pada hari perkahwinan anaknya itu, “Wahai anakku, kini engkau akan keluar dari sarang di mana engkau dibesarkan. Engkau akan berpindah ke sebuah rumah dan hamparan yang belum engkau kenali. Itulah suami mu. Jadilah engkau tanah bagi suami mu (taat perintahnya) dan ia akan menjadi langit bagi mu (tempat bernaung). Jadilah engkau sebagai lantai supaya ia dapat menjadi tiangnya. Jangan engkau bebani dia dengan berbagai kesukaran kerana itu akan memungkinkan ia meninggalkan mu. Kalau ia mendekatimu, dekatilah ia dan jika ia menjauhi mu maka jauhilah ia dengan baik. Peliharalah benar-benar suami mu itu akan hidungnya, pendengarannya, matanya dan lain-lain. Janganlah pula ia mendengar melainkan yang enak dan janganlah ia melihat melainkan yang indah sahaja pada dirimu."

22. Pesanan Luqman kepada anaknya, “Sepanjang hidupku, aku hanya memilih 8 kalimah dari pusaka para Nabi yang lalu iaitu :-

a. Apabila engkau sedang solat kepada Allah SWT maka jagalah baik-baik fikiran mu.
b. Apabila engkau berada di rumah orang lain, maka jagalah pandangan mu.
c. Apabila engkau berada di tengah-tengah majlis maka jagalah lidah mu.
d. Apabila engkau hadir dalam jamuan makan maka jagalah perangai mu.
e. Ingat kepada Allah SWT
f. Lupakan budi baik mu pada orang lain.
g. Lupakan semua kesalahan orang lain terhadap mu.
h. Ingat kepada mati.

23. Perkara-perkara yang menjadikan wanita itu derhaka kepada suaminya seperti tersebut di dalam kitab Muhimmah :-

a. Menghalang suami dari bersuka-suka dengan dirinya sama ada untuk jimak atau menyentuh mana-mana bahagian tubuhnya.
b. Keluar rumah tanpa izin suami sama ada ketika suami ada di rumah atau pun tidak.
c. Keluar rumah kerana belajar ilmu yang bukan ilmu Fardhu Ain.
Dibolehkan keluar untuk belajar ilmu Fardhu Ain jika suaminya tidak mampu mengajar.
d. Enggan berpindah (berhijrah) bersama suaminya.
e. Mengunci pintu, tidak membenarkan suami masuk ke rumah ketika suami ingin masuk.
f. Memasam muka ketika berhadapan dengan suami.
g. Minta talak.
h. Berpaling atau membelakangi suami ketika bercakap.
i. Menyakiti hati suami sama ada dengan perkataan atau perbuatan.
j. Meninggalkan tempat tidur tanpa izin.
k. Membenarkan orang lain masuk ke dalam rumah sedangkan ia tidak disukai oleh suaminya.

24. Wajib bagi wanita :-

a. Mengekalkan malu pada suaminya.
b. Merendahkan (menundukkan) mata ketika berpandangan.
c. Mengikut kata-kata dan suruhannya.
d. Dengar dan diam ketika suami berkata-kata.
e. Berdiri menyambut kedatangannya.
f. Berdiri menghantar pemergiannya.
g. Hadir bersamanya ketika masuk tidur.
h. Memakai bau-bauan yang harum untuk suaminya.
i. Membersihkan dan menghilangkan bau mulut untuk suaminya.
j. Berhias ketika hadirnya dan tinggalkan hiasan ketika tiadanya.
k. Tiada khianat ketika tiada suaminya.
l. Memuliakan keluarga suaminya.
m. Memandang pemberian suaminya yang kecil sebagai besar dan berharga.
n. Ketahuilah, syurga dan neraka bagi seorang wanita itu bergantung pada redha atau tidaknya suami padanya.

Shaking hands with a non-mahram man

This is one of the cases where incorrect social customs have taken precedence over the laws of Allah, to such an extent that if you try to talk to people and show them evidence that this is wrong, they will accuse you of being backward, having a complex, trying to break family ties, doubting their good intentions, etc.

Shaking hands with female cousins, brothers’ wives and uncles’ wives is now easier than drinking water in our society, but if we look properly we will understand the seriousness of the matter.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:

“If one of you were to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle it would be better for him than touching a woman whom he is not permitted to touch.”
(Reported by al-Tabaraani, 20/212; see also Sahih al-Jaami’, 4921).

There is no doubt that this is an act of Zinaa, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
"The eyes may commit Zinaa, the hands may commit Zinaa, the feet may commit Zinaa and the private parts may commit Zinaa.
" (Reported by Imam Ahmad, 1/412; see also Sahih al-Jaami', 4921).

Is there anyone more pure in heart than Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)? Yet still he said,
“I do not shake hands with women.”
(Reported by Imam Ahmad, 6/357; see also Sahih al-Jaami’, 7054, and al-Isaabah, 4/354, Daar al-Kitaab al-’Arabi edition).

And he said, "I do not touch the hands of women."
(Reported by al-Tabaraani in al-Kabeer, 24/342; see also Saheeh al-Jaami', 7054 and al-Isaabah, 4/354, Dar al-Kutub al-'Arabi edition).

‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said:
“No, by Allah, the hand of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) never touched the hand of a (non-mahram) woman. He received bay’ah (pledge of allegiance) from them by word only.”
(Reported by Muslim, 3/489).

Let them fear Allah, those people who threaten their pious wives with divorce if they do not shake hands with their brothers.

We should also note that placing a barrier such as a piece of cloth is of no use; it is still haram to shake hands with a non-mahram woman.

Women in the Quran and Sunnah

In Islam there is absolutely no difference between men and women as far as their relationship to Allah is concerned, as both are promised the same reward for good conduct and the same punishment for evil conduct. The Qur'an says:
And for women are rights over men similar to those of men over women. (2:226)

The Qur'an, in addressing the believers, often uses the expression, 'believing men and women' to emphasize the equality of men and women in regard to their respective duties, rights, virtues and merits. It says:

For Muslim men and women, for believing men and women, for devout men and women, for true men and women, for men and women who are patient and constant, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in charity, for men and women who fast, for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in Allah's praise, for them has Allah prepared forgiveness and great reward. (33:35)

This clearly contradicts the assertion of the Christian Fathers that women do not possess souls and that they will exist as sexless beings in the next life. The Qur'an says that women have souls in exactly the same way as men and will enter Paradise if they do good :

Enter into Paradise, you and your wives, with delight. (43:70)

Who so does that which is right, and believes, whether male or female, him or her will We quicken to happy life. (16:97)

The Qur'an admonishes those men who oppress or ill-treat women:

O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should you treat them with harshness, that you may take away part of the dowry you have given them - except when they have become guilty of open lewdness. On the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If you take a dislike to them, it may be that you dislike something and Allah will bring about through it a great deal of good. (4:19)

Considering the fact that before the advent of Islam the pagan Arabs used to bury their female children alive, make women dance naked in the vicinity of the Ka'ba during their annual fairs, and treat women as mere chattels and objects of sexual pleasure possessing no rights or position whatsoever, these teachings of the Noble Qur'an were revolutionary. Unlike other religions, which regarded women as being possessed of inherent sin and wickedness and men as being possessed of inherent virtue and nobility, Islam regards men and women as being of the same essence created from a single soul. The Qur'an declares:

O mankind! Reverence your Guardian-Lord, who created you from a single person, created, of like nature, his mate, and from this pair scattered (like seeds) countless men and women. Reverence Allah, through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and reverence the wombs (that bore you); for Allah ever watches over you. (4:1)

The Prophet of Islam (peace be upon him) said, "Women are the twin halves of men." The Qur'an emphasizes the essential unity of men and women in a most beautiful simile:

They (your wives) are your garment and you are a garment for them. (2:187)

Just as a garment hides our nakedness, so do husband and wife, by entering into the relationship of marriage, secure each other's chastity. The garment gives comfort to the body; so does the husband find comfort in his wife's company and she in his. "The garment is the grace, the beauty, the embellishment of the body, so too are wives to their husbands as their husbands are to them." Islam does not consider woman "an instrument of the Devil", but rather the Qur'an calls her muhsana - a fortress against Satan because a good woman, by marrying a man, helps him keep to the path of rectitude in his life. It is for this reason that marriage was considered by the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) as a most virtuous act. He said: "When a man marries, he has completed one half of his religion." He enjoined matrimony on Muslims by saying: "Marriage is part of my way and whoever keeps away from my way is not from me (i.e. is not my follower)." The Qur'an has given the raison d'être of marriage in the following words:

And among His signs is this, that He has created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them; and He has put love and mercy between you. Verily in that are signs for those who reflect. (30:21)

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was full of praise for virtuous and chaste women. He said:

"The world and all things in the world are precious but the most precious thing in the world is a virtuous woman. He once told the future khalif, 'Umar: "Shall I not inform you about the best treasure a man can hoard? It is a virtuous wife who pleases him whenever he looks towards her, and who guards herself when he is absent from her."

On other occasions the Prophet said:

"The best property a man can have is a remembering tongue (about Allah), a grateful heart and a believing wife who helps him in his faith." And again: "The world, the whole of it, is a commodity and the best of the commodities of the world is a virtuous wife."

Before the advent of Islam women were often treated worse than animals. The Prophet wanted to put a stop to all cruelties to women. He preached kindness towards them. He told the Muslims: "Fear Allah in respect of women." And: "The best of you are they who behave best to their wives." And: "A Muslim must not hate his wife, and if he be displeased with one bad quality in her, let him be pleased with one that is good." And:"The more civil and kind a Muslim is to his wife, the more perfect in faith he is."

The Prophet (peace be upon him) was most emphatic in enjoining upon Muslims to be kind to their women when he delivered his famous khutba on the Mount of Mercy at Arafat in the presence of one hundred and twenty-four thousand of his Companions who had gathered there for the Hajj al-Wada (Farewell Pilgrimage). In it he ordered those present, and through them all those Muslims who were to come later, to be respectful and kind towards women. He said:

"Fear Allah regarding women. Verily you have married them with the trust of Allah, and made their bodies lawful with the word of Allah. You have got (rights) over them, and they have got (rights) over you in respect of their food and clothing according to your means."

In Islam a woman is a completely independent personality. She can make any contract or bequest in her own name. She is entitled to inherit in her position as mother, as wife, as sister and as daughter. She has perfect liberty to choose her husband. The pagan society of pre-Islamic Arabia had an irrational prejudice against their female children whom they used to bury alive. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) was totally opposed to this practice. He showed them that supporting their female children would act as a screen for them against the fire of Hell:

It is narrated by the Prophet's wife, 'A'isha, that a woman entered her house with two of her daughters. She asked for charity but 'A'isha could not find anything except a date, which was given to her. The woman divided it between her two daughters and did not eat any herself. Then she got up and left. When the Prophet (peace be upon him) came to the house, 'A'isha told him about what had happened and he declared that when the woman was brought to account (on the Day of Judgment) about her two daughters they would act as a screen for her from the fires of Hell.

The worst calamity for a woman is when her husband passes away and, as a widow, the responsibility of maintaining the children falls upon her. In the Eastern World, where a woman does not always go out to earn her living, the problems of widowhood are indescribable. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) upheld the cause of widows. Most of his wives were widows. In an age when widows were rarely permitted to remarry, the Prophet encouraged his followers to marry them. He was always ready to help widows and exhorted his followers to do the same. Abu Hurairah reported that the Prophet said: "One who makes efforts (to help) the widow or a poor person is like a mujahid (warrior) in the path of Allah, or like one who stands up for prayers in the night and fasts in the day."

Woman as mother commands great respect in Islam. The Noble Qur'an speaks of the rights of the mother in a number of verses. It enjoins Muslims to show respect to their mothers and serve them well even if they are still unbelievers. The Prophet states emphatically that the rights of the mother are paramount. Abu Hurairah reported that a man came to the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) and asked: "O Messenger of Allah, who is the person who has the greatest right on me with regards to kindness and attention?" He replied, "Your mother." "Then who?" He replied, "Your mother." "Then who?" He replied, "Your mother." "Then who?" He replied, "Your father."

In another tradition, the Prophet advised a believer not to join the war against the Quraish in defense of Islam, but to look after his mother, saying that his service to his mother would be a cause of his salvation. Mu'awiyah, the son of Jahimah, reported that Jahimah came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and said, " Messenger of Allah! I want to join the fighting (in the path of Allah) and I have come to seek your advice." He said, "Then remain in your mother's service, because Paradise is under her feet."

The Prophet's followers accepted his teachings and brought about a revolution in their social attitude towards women. They no longer considered women as a mere chattels, but as an integral part of society. For the first time women were given the right to have a share in inheritance. In the new social climate, women rediscovered themselves and became highly active members of society rendering useful service during the wars which the pagan Arabs forced on the emerging Muslim umma. They carried provisions for the soldiers, nursed them, and even fought alongside them if it was necessary. It became a common sight to see women helping their husbands in the fields, carrying on trade and business independently, and going out of their homes to satisfy their needs.

'A'isha reported that Saudah bint Zam'ah went out one night. 'Umar saw her and recognized her and said, "By God, O Saudah, why do you not hide yourself from us?" She went back to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and told him about it while he was having supper in her room, and he said, "It is permitted by Allah for you to go out for your needs." The predominant idea in the teachings of Islam with regard to men and women is that a husband and wife should be full-fledged partners in making their home a happy and prosperous place, that they should be loyal and faithful to one another, and genuinely interested in each other's welfare and the welfare of their children. A woman is expected to exercise a humanizing influence over her husband and to soften the sternness inherent in his nature. A man is enjoined to educate the women in his care so that they cultivate the qualities in which they, by their very nature, excel.

These aspects were much emphasized by the Prophet (peace be upon him). He exhorted men to marry women of piety and women to be faithful to their husbands and kind to their children. He said:

"Among my followers the best of men are those who are best to their wives, and the best of women are those who are best to their husbands. To each of such women is set down a reward equivalent to the reward of a thousand martyrs. Among my followers, again, the best of women are those who assist their husbands in their work, and love them dearly for everything, save what is a transgression of Allah's laws."

Once Mu'awiyah asked the Prophet (peace be upon him), "What are the rights that a wife has over her husband?" The Prophet replied, " Feed her when you take your food, give her clothes to wear when you wear clothes, refrain from giving her a slap on the face or abusing her, and do not separate from your wife, except within the house." Once a woman came to the Prophet with a complaint against her husband. He told her: "There is no woman who removes something to replace it in its proper place, with a view to tidying her husband's house, but that Allah sets it down as a virtue for her. Nor is there a man who walks with his wife hand-in-hand, but that Allah sets it down as a virtue for him; and if he puts his arm round her shoulder in love, his virtue is increased tenfold." Once he was heard praising the women of the tribe of Quraish, "...because they are the kindest to their children while they are infants and because they keep a careful watch over the belongings of their husbands."

The Shari'ah regards women as the spiritual and intellectual equals of men. The main distinction it makes between them is in the physical realm based on the equitable principle of fair division of labor. It allots the more strenuous work to the man and makes him responsible for the maintenance of the family. It allots the work of managing the home and the upbringing and training of children to the woman, work which has the greatest importance in the task of building a healthy and prosperous society.

It is a fact, however, that sound administration within the domestic field is impossible without a unified policy. For this reason the Shari'ah requires a man, as head of the family, to consult with his family and then to have the final say in decisions concerning it. In doing so he must not abuse his prerogative to cause any injury to his wife. Any transgression of this principle involves for him the risk of losing the favor of Allah, because his wife is not his subordinate but she is, to use the words of the Prophet (peace be upon him), 'the queen of her house', and this is the position a true believer is expected to give his wife. In contrast to these enlightened teachings of Islam in respect of women, Western talk of women's liberation or emancipation is actually a disguised form of exploitation of her body, deprivation of her honor, and degradation of her soul!

source : Prof. Abdur Rahman I.
Doi Professor and Director, Center for Islamic Legal Studies, Ahmadu Bello University, Zaira, Nigeria

KEISTIMEWAAN WANITA

1. Doa wanita itu lebih makbul daripada lelaki kerana sifat penyayangnya lebih kuat daripada lelaki. Ketika ditanya kepada Rasulullah SAW akan hal tersebut, jawab baginda , ” Ibu lebih penyayang daripada bapa dan doa orang yang penyayang tidak akan sia-sia.”

2. Wanita yang solehah (baik) itu lebih baik daripada 1000 lelaki yang soleh.

3. Barangsiapa yang menggembirakan anak perempuannya, darjatnya seumpama orang yang sentiasa menangis kerana takutkan Allah. Dan orang yang takutkan Allah SWT akan diharamkan api neraka ke atas tubuhnya.

4. Wanita yang tinggal bersama anak-anaknya akan tinggal bersama aku (Rasulullah SAW) di dalam syurga.

5. Barangsiapa membawa hadiah (barang makanan dari pasar ke rumah lalu diberikan kepada keluarganya) maka pahalanya seperti melakukan amalan bersedekah. Hendaklah mendahulukan anak perempuan daripada anak lelaki. Maka barangsiapa yang menyukakan anak perempuan seolah-olah dia memerdekakan anak Nabi Ismail.

6. Syurga itu di bawah telapak kaki ibu.

7. Barangsiapa mempunyai tiga anak perempuan atau tiga saudara perempuan atau dua anak perempuan atau dua saudara perempuan lalu dia bersikap ihsan dalam pergaulan dengan mereka dan mendidik mereka dengan penuh rasa takwa serta sikap bertanggungjawab, maka baginya adalah syurga.

8. Apabila memanggil akan dirimu dua orang ibu bapamu, maka jawablah panggilan ibumu terlebih dahulu.

9. Daripada Aisyah r.a.” Barangsiapa yang diuji dengan sesuatu daripada anak-anak perempuannya lalu dia berbuat baik kepada mereka, maka mereka akan menjadi penghalang baginya daripada api neraka.'

10. Wanita yang taat berkhidmat kepada suaminya akan tertutuplah pintu-pintu neraka dan terbuka pintu-pintu syurga. Masuklah dari mana-mana pun pintu yang dia kehendaki dengan tidak dihisab.

11. Wanita yang taat pada suaminya, maka semua ikan-ikan di laut, burung di udara, malaikat di langit, matahari dan bulan semua beristighfar baginya selama mana dia taat kepada suaminya serta menjaga solat dan puasanya.

12. Aisyah r.a berkata, “Aku bertanya kepada Rasulullah, siapakah yang lebih besar haknya terhadap wanita?” Jawab Rasulullah SAW “Suaminya.” ” Siapa pula berhak terhadap lelaki?” Jawab Rasulullah SAW, “Ibunya.”

13. Perempuan apabila sembahyang lima waktu, puasa di bulan Ramadhan, memelihara kehormatannya serta kepada suaminya, masuklah dia dari pintu syurga mana sahaja yang dikehendaki.

14. Tiap perempuan yang menolong suaminya dalam urusan agama, maka Allah SWT memasukkan dia ke dalam syurga terlebih dahulu daripada suaminya (10,000 tahun).

15. Apabila seseorang perempuan mengandung janin dalam rahimnya, maka beristighfarlah para malaikat untuknya. Allah SWT mencatatkan baginya setiap hari dengan 1,000 kebajikan dan menghapuskan darinya 1,000 kejahatan.


Firman Allah SWT (31:14):

وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنْسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَى وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ

“Dan Kami perintahkan kepada manusia (berbuat baik) kepada dua orang ibu- bapanya; ibunya telah mengandungkannya dalam keadaan lemah yang bertimpa-timpa dan menyapihnya dalam dua tahun. Bersyukurlah kepadaKu dan kepada dua orang ibu bapamu, hanya kepada-Kulah tempat kembali”

Sabda Rasulullahi SAW:

وَالْمَرْأَةُ تَمُوتُ بِجُمْعٍ شَهِيدٌ. رواه مالك وأحمد وأبو داود وغيرهم

“Wanita yang meninggal kerana mengandung adalah syahid (orang yang mati syahid). H.R Malik, Ahmad, Abu Daud dll. Disahihkan oleh Albani.

Di bawah ini adalah hadis palsu mengenai kelebihan wanita mengandung dan bersalin yang tidak boleh digunakan atau disebarkan:

- Wanita yang hamil akan mendapat pahala berpuasa pada siang hari dan pahala beribadat pada malam hari di jalan Allah.

- Apabila seseorang perempuan mula sakit hendak bersalin, akan dikurniakan penyejuk mata yang tidak diketahui oleh penduduk bumi dan langit.

- Wanita yang menyusukan anaknya akan mendapat satu pahala dari setiap titikan susu dan satu pahala dari setiap sedutan susu.

- Wanita yang berjaga malam kerana menjaga anaknya akan mendapat pahala seperti membebaskan 70 orang hamba.

Hadis ini palsu kerana perawinya ‘Amru al-khawlani banyak meriwayatkan hadis palsu, seperti yang dijelaskan oleh Ibn Hibban, Ibn Jauzi dan Zahabi.

Rujukan: Silsilah Dhaifah wal Maudhu’ah oleh Albani: 5/76

Wallahu'alam

6 sifat wanita yang tidak layak bergelar isteri....

Al-Anaanah:
Banyak keluh kesah. Yang selalu merasa tak cukup, apa yang diberi semua tak cukup. Diberi rumah tak cukup, diberi motor tak cukup, diberi kereta tak cukup. Tak redha dengan pemberian yang diberi suami. Asyik ingin memenuhi kehendak nafsu dia saja, tanpa menghiraukan perasaan suami, tak hormat kepada suami apalagi berterima kasih pada suami. Bukannya hendak menolong suami, apa yang suami beri pun tak pernah puas. Ada saja yang tak cukup.

Al-Manaanah:
Suka mengungkit. Kalau suami melakukan perkara yang dia tak berkenan maka diungkitlah segala hal tentang suaminya itu. Sangat mudah hendak membicarakan perihal suami. Tak mengenang budi, tak bertanggungjawab, tak sayang dan macam-macam. Walaupun suaminya sudah memberi perlindungan macam-macam padanya.

Al-Hunaanah:
Ingin pada suami yang lain atau berkenan kepada lelaki yang lain. Sangat suka membanding-bandingkan suaminya dengan suami/lelaki lain. Tak redha dengan suami yang ada.

Al-Hudaaqah:
Suka memaksa. Bila hendak sesuatu maka dipaksa suaminya melakukan nya. Pagi, petang malam asyik menekan dan memaksa suami. Adakalanya dengan berbagai ancaman. Ingin lari, ingin bunuh diri, ingin membuat malu suami. Suami dibuat seperti orang suruhannya, bukan sebagai pemimpin nya. Yang dipentingkan adalah kehendak dan kepentingan dia saja.

Al-Hulaaqah:

Sibuk bersolek atau tidur atau santai-santai hingga lalai dengan ibadah-ibadah asas, seperti solat berjemaah, wirid zikir, mengurus rumah-tangga, berkasih sayang dengan anak-anak.

As-Salaaqah: Banyak berbicara, menggosip. Siang malam, pagi petang asik menggosip. Apa saja yang suami kerjakan selalu tidak benar dimatanya. Zaman sekarang ni bergosip bukan saja berbicara di depan suami, tapi dengan telefon, SMS, internet, dan macam-macam cara yang lain . Yang jelas isteri tu asyik menyusahkan suami dengan kata-katanya yang menyakitkan.

The Muslim Woman

The Muslim Woman

By Shariffa Carlo

"The French Economic Philosopher, Jules Simon said, Women have started to work in Textile factories and printing presses etc... The government is employing them in factories, where they can earn a few francs. But on the other hand, this has totally destroyed the bases of family life. Yes, the husband may benefit from his wife's earnings, but apart from that, his earnings have decreased because now he is competing with her for work." (The Muslim Woman, Dr. Muhammad Ali Al Hashimi, p. 446) The famous English Writer, Anna Ward said, "I wish that our country was like the lands of the Muslims, where modesty, chastity and purity are like a garment...it is a source of shame for England that we make our daughters examples of promiscuity by mixing so much with men. Why do we not try to persue that which makes a girl do work which agrees with her natural temperament, by staying at home, and leaving men's work to men, to keep their honor safe?" (The Muslim Woman, Dr. Muhammad Ali Al Hashimi, p. 447).

Most Women Don't Want to be Working Mothers

On a personal level, while I know that many women will not admit it, but the actions of the Western woman speak volumes. They really do believe that it is better for a woman to stay home than to work. Notice that women with husbands in the upper income level rarely work, especially if she has children. My sister in law and my brother have been married for over ten years. She refuses, to this day, to have children because my brother can not afford to fully support her and her children in the style to which they have become accustomed, unless she also works. She refuses to be a working mother and is constantly pointing out her sister who is more successful because she was able to leave her job when she became pregnant.

All this proves one basic point, that since Islam is the religion of Allah, and No one Knows better than Allah how to safeguard the dignity, honor and success of the woman, the way he has chosen for us is the best, and we have the West to thank for proving this to us.

.The Most Honorable Job

The role of the woman is balanced but fair. She has been removed from the burden of supporting herself. This responsibility was given to the men in her life, her father and her brothers and even on the government, if the other two are not available. If she does not want to work, she does not have to. She is free to spend her time raising her children and tending to her family, social and religious life. However, if she wants to work, she is not forbidden to do so. She is encouraged to educate herself and to know her Lord, so that she can educate her children. She is discouraged from leaving her children without guidance and example. She is given the most honorable and important job in the universe, she is encouraged to be a mother.

Which is the Queen?

I once had a conversation with some non-Muslims. I gave them an example: Suppose you were an alien visitor. You come to this society and view a family unit. You notice that one of them is completely cared for. The second person goes out every morning bright and early to spend the day working and earning money. This person may have a job that is intellectually stimulating, but often it is a job that requires strong physical labor. This tired worker returns to his home with offerings of food, clothing and shelter for this other mate, who has spent her time in her home, cleaning, cooking, playing with and educating children, maybe taking a break for shopping or going to the park (because her duties give her the time and luxury of doing so). Normally, the full salary of the worker goes towards maintaining this mate who stays home. Now, looking to this, which do you think is the superior one? Which is the queen and which is the servant? While we know that cooking, cleaning and caring for and educating children is a difficult job, in the long run, it is miles easier than working on the outside. We have more leisurely time, and the rewards go beyond monetary compensation. Most women, who have the choice, would never give up staying at home for going out to work.

During the Gulf War, a Western reporter interviewed a Saudi woman. The reporter, trying to make her feel inferior, asked her, "Doesn't it bother you that you are not able to go and get a job as a waitress, if you wanted to?" This woman, may Allah bless her, answered, "Are you joking? I am a woman with maids and servants, why would I want to lower myself to such a task." Think about it, the job of waitress is a glorified servant. No woman actually aspires to it, most are forced to do it because there is nothing better for them. And, many of these waitresses are nothing more than cheap entertainment for men. When questioned about not being able to drive, Saudi women point out that having a driver is a luxury that most Westerners aspire to, why is it a humiliation only for Muslim women? In the same vein, the Western woman hopes for the ability to be a stay-at-home mother. It is a status symbol, yet they try to make us feel inferior for making that choice the most common and preferred one. The West loves to make us feel inferior due to our choices, yet given the same choices, they look to reach what we have. Allah keep us from following their example and make us an example for them.

Children Need More Than "Quality Time"

Western society has made the stay at home mother so ashamed of her role in society that a movement was actually needed to make the housewife feel more fulfilled. It became necessary to have a media campaign that educated American women about the fact that being a mother was just as valid a choice for a woman as being a working member of society. Think about it. I have read articles that say that the American woman was fooled into thinking she could have it all. Magazine after magazine talks about the failure of "quality time" with children. Children do not need quality time, they need a physical presence that will guide and mold them, and that presence is not a babysitter who really does not care about the values she instills.

We are told by Allah to save ourselves and our family from a fire that is fueled by men and stones (66:6). How are we going to do that if we allow someone else to raise them? How are we going to educate our children by giving them to strangers? We have a great responsibility that we will be questioned about. We should not allow the failure of the West to change us from our basic nature. In Feminist literature, the woman's language is defined as nurturing. Feminist philosophers state that a woman's style is nurturing. Allah created us in a fashion that makes us the perfect nurturer, so why do we reject that nature in search of some illlusive goal of accomplishment?

Free From Fitnah

While a woman has been granted the right to leave her home for her needs, (Sahih Bukhari, Volume 6, Book 60, Number 318), Rasool Allah told us that the best place for us is at home. There, we are free from fitnah and harassment. Look to the women of the West, the capital of women workers. They are constantly complaining that they are underpaid, overworked, they have the home duties still as well as the duties and demands of their jobs. They are over-worked and over stressed. Their families have suffered as they have. Too many of their children are promiscuous, addicted and morally bankrupt. They have so little respect for each other that many of the parents end up in nursing homes the minute they get old. Those who don't, end up fending for themselves late into their elderly years, years that should be spent enjoying the fruits of their labor, children who love, honor and respect them while caring for their every need. This is Islam. We raise our children with the values of wanting to take care of us later. My teacher once told a lady who came to him for advice that she needs to instill better values in her kids, that they should help her now that they are older. He said, if we are raising children with no sense of responsibility, it is better to raise sheep, at least you can benefit from their meat.

Cannot Neglect Our Responsibilities

Our children are our responsibility. Our husbands are our leaders as well as our partners. Our parents are our trust. We can not neglect any of these duties in the search for fulfillment. If we follow our fitrah (basic nature) we will find fulfillment in these tasks. The woman can work. The woman can be a doctor or lawyer or engineer. She has the mental capacity to do so and the physical abilities. However, she is better suited to be a mother, a wife, a daughter. She does not have to go out and sell her services, and if necessity does not force her to, she shouldn't.

Narrated 'Abdullah: Allah's Apostle said, "Everyone of you is a guardian and is responsible for his charges. The ruler who has authority over people, is a guardian and is responsible for them, a man is a guardian of his family and is responsible for them; a woman is a guardian of her husband's house and children and is responsible for them; a servant ('Abdu) is a guardian of his master's property and is responsible for it; so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your charges." Volume 3, Book 46, Number 730.

Our responsibility is our husband's home and children, which are also our home and children. The rights of Allah come first. So, we must tend to this responsibility before any other. The man is responsible for us financially, even if he has to work two or more jobs to fulfill this task. If the woman wants to help him, she may, but she can not neglect her duties to do so. Allah will question her about her home and children, she will not be asked about her personal fulfillment or her maintenance of her family (unless there is no one else to do it). The woman must do her best to be a great wife and mother. This is number one. After this, there is permissibility.

An Honorable Duty and the Tools to Fulfill It

No one claims that a woman can not do many jobs, but the reality exists that while a man can be the nurturer in a home, no one is better suited for this than the woman. She has been benefited by hormones which make her more patient, a temperament that makes her more nurturing, and a gentleness that makes her a better mother. There exist the aberrant Susan Smiths of the world who harm their children, but the reality is that when we hear about such horrible crimes, we are shocked because it is not normal. We know how mothers are with their children, from the human to the bird who will peck the hair off anyone who dares to harm her children. Allah gave us an honorable duty and the tools to fulfil it. Alhamdulillah for the blessings of Allah.

May Allah protect the women of Islam. May Allah guide the women of Islam.
May Allah protect our society through the women of Islam