ETIQUETTES OF INTIMACY

10 ISLAMIC ETIQUETTES OF INTIMACY

1. Private Setting

The couple should be in a private room, with doors closed and all windows closed so no one can see them. This is given high importance since it is a sin to expose one’s ’awrah to anyone other than your spouse.

2. Look and smell nice 

The couple together should make the effort to increases the love and is part of the practice of the Prophet SAW to be clean and smell nice.

- Remove your hair (especially hair from private parts and arm pits)

- Take bath together. 

- Wear nice clothes, use fragrant

- Wearing jewelery or anything else that pleases your spouse in private

3. Foreplay

-  Kiss, touch, fonde, caress and play with each other

- Oral sex is a big question that comes up in this issue of foreplay and there are several opinions and sides in regards to this matter. The majority opinion is that it is permissible because there is no clear prohibition against it because it wasn’t the practice of the people at the time. Go to different Islamic websites and read the opinions about it and research the topic further.

* Few things to remember :

-  Precum (the liquid substance that is clear and appears during arousal) is considered Najis (impure) so having the contact of that with the mouth is impermissible according to many scholars

-  Semen is considered to be tahir (pure) but a woman is not allowed to swallow it.

4. Being Naked

There is a misconception out there that you cannot be completely naked in front of your spouse. This is completely baseless. There is even proof that it is allowed at other times as well in front of each other, it must be in the private setting.

Our Prophet SAW and Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) bathed together and they both looked at each other. 

5. Make Du’ah

The Dua below is very important and one should memorize it and recite it every time before sexual intercourse.

Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah SAW said :

“When one of you wants to approach his wife, if he says:

Bismillah, Allahuma jannib nash-Shaytaan, wa-jannib ish-Shaytaana ma razaqtana 

(With the name of Allah, O Allah, keep Satan away from us, and keep him away from what you grant us).

If it is decreed that they get a child Satan will never harm it.”

(Recorded in Bukhari and Muslim)

6. Positions

All positions are permitted as long as not from the back passage as it is a major sin and is forbidden. 

7. Menses or Period of a Woman

It is not permissible to have sex with your wife during her menses but all other activity is allowed. So you may do all that you please except for entering her vagina during this time period until she has taken her cleansing bath at the end of her menses.

8. Pregnant Women

It is permissible to have intercourse with your wife while pregnant but one must be very careful not to hurt ones wife or the embryo.

9. Round 2 or 3 

If you wish to have sex with your spouse again you just have to wash your private parts and make wudhu before having sex for a second time. Doing Wudhu is recommended in a Hadeeth, and it rejuvenates and invigorates you.

10. Ghusl

Cleansing oneself after intercourse is important and obligatory to end janabah and it is permissible for the couple to bathe together